Ok, Frankel, here goes:

1) No one perpetrates this crime more than Marlyand. Granted, they do play
in legitimate formats, but that should be even more of a reason for them
NOT TO PLAY NOVICE TOURNAMENTS.

2) Chad Money from Kentucky. All he does is sit there with his white
emofag fro blowing in the wind while Kelly and Witchfucker get all the
points and cream themselves over esoteric answers.

3) David Thorsley (and by extension, the succubus holding the whip which
cows his canuck ass). MLK represents the worst possible thing you could
do; adulterate ACF with bullshit NAQT timers and trash, not to mention the
"We have to pander to the victimized minorities" distribution. Someone
should cook him and put him in Emily's next extra large serving of broccoli
and cheese soup.

4)Stan Jastrebski. I can think of no one as pathetic as he is who
nevertheless constantly tries to impart his vast wisdom culled from the
cherished institution that is DePauw. This rat bastard couldn't beat his
meat (he probably thinks it's sexist to do it), let alone a reasonably
skilled team, yet he feels morally superior to people like me. All I have
to say is, it makes sense that he's a journalism major. At DePauw. I hope
McCombs's cunt swallows him whole.

5) Jason Keller. As if I actually need to explain this one.

6) Doug O'Neal. When he isn't busy drinking sacred goat blood from the
skull of a dead Christian to celebrate Whitsuntide in honor of migty Tyr,
he's posting his unsolicited moralizations on the board, much like a
douchebag squirts into a cunt.

7) Jason Keller. "Oh my god, where's the individual sports? There's not
enough obscure, worthless Spanish literature! I'm going to punish you all
by writing a 3/3 ABBA/Butyrskya/Rosaria Castellanos distribution at
BRRR! Oh wait, I'm not at Cornell anymore! I'm at Rutgers because I'm not
competent enough to get into a legitimate CS grad program! I'm going to
cry into my Muscat and jack off to the thought of Josh Levit in a speedo."

8) NYU. Even with the departure of their fat, disgusting, extremely loud
and obnoxious Margaret Cho-esque captain, they still reign supreme over
Douchebagia. I would rather play DePauw than play NYU.

9) BU. Since everyone else is going to say DePauw, and with good reason,
I'm going to say BU, because it's exactly the same, only its members don't
post. Thank heaven for small favors.

10) Matthew Marjan from DePauw. Of course he can beat me on Stan's
packet. Oh well, at least I don't pretend to be a jedi knight on my team's
dorky website. Hell, I refuse to even make a website. By the way, I
assume you mean "the worst player you've actually played, but never
beaten." If not, the playing field's way too wide.

Bonus) Leftsaidfred. It just doesn't get any worse than that picture of his.

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