We can always count on Steve the pack rat! :)

Thanks bro

--- In jawbreak@yahoogroups.com, "Ozy_y2k <ozymandias_y2k_in@y...>"
<ozymandias_y2k_in@y...> wrote:
> another website bites the dust :(

Never fear!

http://www.argn.com/archive.htm

:)

another website bites the dust :(

Someone just turned me on to this new treasure hunt at excite.com and I
thought everyone here might like to get involved.

Excite $20,000 Treasure Hunt

http://msxml.excite.com/_1_VJOUS30VF49PK__info.xcite/promo/thunt/index.htm



_________________________________________________________________
The new MSN 8: smart spam protection and 3 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail&xAPID=42&PS=47575&PI=7324&DI=7474&SU\
=
http://www.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/getmsg&HL=1216hotmailtaglines_smartspamprotec\
tion_3mf

So, um, i can't keep promoting my pornography sites in here?  Aw
nuts...

---------------------------------------------------------------------
jamesi uses capitals more often now!

Due to an inordinate amount of spammers signing up recently and
trying to post links to porn/pop-up sites, JB has changed its
membership to 'moderated,' which means JB moderators will approve
any new requests for membership in JB.

This will change absolutely nothing for existing members.

Thanks!

vpisteve

Well, since I was poking around back here, I thought I'd add some
fun things to the JB Cafepress store.

Stop by and see the new items, such as the "I Shot Chet" Teddy Bear,
and the "Ninja Babe" thong!

Click the Swag link on the JB homepage.

(As always, all profits go to the Lockjaw PMs, or charity, whatever
they decide)

Those were absolutely fabulous! Thanks for all that work. I guess I
need to work on an acceptance speech.

Geez, now I'm feeling all nostalgic and sniffly.

You need to stop by the unfiction forums at www.unfiction.com or
#unfiction IRC.  We miss ya, dude.

That goes for anybody still reading this list, BTW. There are some
new Lockjaw-type games coming up for everyone to choose from, and
it's a great way to stay informed.

-vpisteve

--- In jawbreak@y..., "aliendial" <aliendial@y...> wrote:
> Thank you, Adam, for this fun retro trip through the best game of
the
> year.  (Yeah, Push had more money but it wasn't much fun.)

Thank you, Adam, for this fun retro trip through the best game of the
year.  (Yeah, Push had more money but it wasn't much fun.)

--- In jawbreak@y..., "Adam" <apeddles@1...> wrote:
> would any of the other Lockies winners like to post
> their acceptance speeches?

OK.

I'd like to thank my co-PMs, without whom Serpent's site would have
been meaningless (not that it had a lot of meaning anyway...)

My parents, for raising at least one pretty twisted child...

And the players, for recognizing and sucking on to a good catchphrase
like a starved remora.

To quote a brilliant author, "You knew I was a snake when you picked
me up.

If I wore a hat, I'd tip it.  Thank you."

--Wolf

Ok, the question is, "Is this a game?"

Interesting advertising if so. Oh well. I guess I'll check in on the
date and take a look just out of curiosity. If I remember.
http://www.8march2003.com/

In other news, would any of the other Lockies winners like to post
their acceptance speeches? Well, except for Moot of course, what with
that whole tragic fiery death thing. Hmm, I just had an idea for a
new Community Service Announcement:

Tragic Fiery Deaths : They're Just Not Cool.

In case you haven't noticed, the blood level in my caffeine-stream is
getting dangerously high. Ah, sweet beverage of life...

A new *free* game by the Push, NV PMs has apparently gone live today.

Trailhead is at http://www.noahboddy.com

Following the 'Important Message' link on the front page gives us an
interesting peek behind the curtain. Looks like some of the Push PMs
are
continuing on with something to help make up for the show's
cancellation. They're promising quite a ride.

As far as we can tell, this looks to be a totally free, semi-
grassroots
ARG.

(recorded from the lockies awards)

*ahem*

Wow.  Wow.  Wow!  Just so you all know, it wasn't that long ago that
i was simply a mild mannered lurker, content to sit on the sidelines
while the forces behind the beast threw flashy video clips and
pieces of loki all over the web.

And then came lockjaw.

Days have gone by, but you have shown me that memories do not fade
quickly.  Er, um, first off i'd like to thank the voters for their
recognition of the transformation that turned the caterpillar into
the articulate and darkly handsome butterfly.  Definitely, if it
wasn't for lockjaw, i would probably be out on the street, trying to
satisfy my ever-growing need for something fun with a crack pipe and
an eight ball.  Many of you won't believe me, but lockjaw kept me
clean and off the smack.

Earning a place in my heart forever are the people behind the
scenes, and they get my thanks as well.  Days like this wouldn't
happen without the hard working (former) staff at guysguise.com and
jadedmedia.net (yes, those were subliminal plugs).  If the poor
little bastard hadn't died, the monkey on ritalin would know he was
the reason I'm still active in this community.

(At this point, the "get the blankety-blank off the stage you
overbearing freak show" music kicks in.  i always disregard that
music)

Continuing on, i'd also like to thank the following friends and
family members for their continud support:  my wife, my IRC buds,
and my dog Bear.  Out of the grapevine, i heard that it was a very
close race, and without your votes, i'd be drowning my sorrows in a
pitcher of electric blue koolaid.

Members of the voting public, i promise to make it up to you, ALL of
you, in due time.

(He Talks Much Longer, but i'll spare you any further details)

I have this horrible sinking feeling I may have just started a new
ARGN running-gag/tradition. I wonder if we'll see Lockies Awards for
Push or Second State?
Please consider it. Payne and Ivana need the work. It's either this
or those lame ab-swing commercials.

Adam

We're in the Home stretch folks, and due to time constraints, being
hideously over-budget, and due to the fact that the guy writing all
this couldn't be assed to keep it up for 4 or 5 more posts we're
going to give out all the Out-of-Game awards in one fell swoop! So
buckle your seatbelts kids, this ride could get bumpy!

Most Valuable Player:
vpisteve with 44% of the total vote

Beginners Luck award:
mottjr with 63% of the total vote

Most Memorable #jb Quote:
"mmm pie" with 56% of the total vote

Most Character Interaction:
jamesi with 38% of the total vote

Wildest Theory:
Vad is Serpent with 50% of the total vote

Most Obscure Research:
Language of Flowers with 50% of the total vote

Most Suspected of Being a PM in Disguise:
imbri with 56% of the total vote

Golden Trout Award:
Sam G with 60% of the total vote

Well that's it everybody, we've come to the end of the first Lockies
Awards ceremony. We'll see you all next time, if anyone bothers to do
one of these again after the close of another ARG. Until then, I'm
Payne Wenipee-

And I'm Ivana Bigapare

-Saying goodnight everybody. The bar will be open for another 15
minutes only. Now, who has my nicotine gum?

*****************************************************************
All envelopes used in The lockies are made with recycled paper.

Payne Wenipee dressed by his mum.

Ivana Bigapare dressed, but just barely.

The Lockies is not affiliated with the Moreland, WV chamber of
industries, Mr Chunkee chicken nugget restaurants (26 locations
across the western suburbs), FerretWater Inc. or Ganmed Biotechnical.
In fact the folks at Ganmed are really a swell bunch of guys and we
consider them our close personal friends. So maybe they could return
our first-born children now, please?

We're back with more of the First Annual Lockies Awards. Next up are
the twin awards for Easiest and Toughest Puzzle. Nominees for Easiest
are:

Anything ROT13'ed
Kathy Jarrett's Password
Vad's Euchre Puzzles
GenTel Passwords
Screams Vignere

While the nominees for Hardest Puzzle are:

White Vignere
Beaten Track
Where.gif
Moreland Password

And your winners are: for Easiest Puzzle, Anything ROT13'ed and
hardest puzzle, like there was *ever* any competition in this,
Where.gif!!!!!!!!

(accepting the award for Where.gif is it's creator, and-oh look, a
bunch of rabid Jawbreakers have rushed from the audience and pounced
on him. they appear to be beating him and dragging him towards a
large circular altar, inscribed with some kind of rune, hmm, I can't
quite make it-Oh wait, now one of them is carving out his heart in
blood sacrifice while the others chant in sinister monotone.
Somewhere a horse dies on a beach while the blood flows into grooves
on the altar, filling the rune and, oh its the infinity symbol! Or
the number 8 inverted on it's side. Perhaps its some kind of
reference to the double-circle shape of the 8 pointing to the circle
of death and rebirth, maybe if I calculate the diameter of the human
eyeball in latin and square it with its cosine, it will-hey, what are
you doing? Stop hitting me, ow, what are you-no, not the dagger! I-
AARRRGGHH!)

And while the sexy janitors clean up the bloodbath, we'll move on to
our next award. Most Emotional Moment. The nominees for this award
are:

Nadine's Death
Missing Endgame by 1 Hour
jamesi & Barbie's forbidden love
Hermes' Spiral Message to Moot
Endgame
Chet's Death
Final Where.gif Update
Jo Killing Arney

And leading the competition by a factor of 2:1 is Endgame, the moment
none of us really ever wanted to come, but rushed towards all the
while. Excuse me a moment, I think I have something in my eye *sniff*
Ivana, over to you for the next award. BWAAAAAH!!!!!!!!*sob*

Thanks, Payne. Boy, these really *are* good chicken nuggets! But
these deep-fried reconstituted rooster genitals remind me of our
final award for the In-Game Category, Biggest Red Herring. And the
nominees for this controversial award are:

The Apples
Anson Lee
URF Flash Animation
i_monk in Euchre
URF "Red Spot"
"Guilty" Skull
Sherpa
I-Ching

And in a landslide victory, the Biggest Red Herring award goes to The
Apples! And boy, they are good. I've eaten maybe a hundred of them
since I arrived and they are as innocent as they are sweet. Sure, I
have seven toes on one foot, webbed fingers and my skin is sloughing
off in blackened, curling chunks, but that's all because of my many
undiagnosed venereal diseases. So if you've regained enough composure
to not look like girly wuss crybaby, it's back to you Payne!

Great Stuff Ivana, folks, we'll be back right after this with the Out-
of-Game categories of the first inaugaral Lockies awards!

************Coming up next: my dinner**************

Hi everybody and welcome back. Our next award is for Most Startling
Plot Development. The nominees are:

Paul is Alive
Nadine Dies
Moot Dies
Moot Speaks
Vad Moves to Moreland
Moreland is Hacked
Discovering the Earlier Deaths of Crawlers
It Wasn't the Apples

And the winner is, well, he's made a clean sweep of it so far
tonight, Moot with his aforementioned tragic fiery death. We now go
live to Ivana Bigapare who is out on Shadow Valley Road at the fatal
corner. Ivana?

Thanks Payne! Yes folks, I'm standing here on Shadow Valley Road
where, on this very curve last April the man known only as "Moot" ran
off the road to a death that was both tragic and fiery. As you can
see, there are a few small floral tributes laid at the site, as well
as a 24 hour photomat booth, a "Mr Chunkee" chicken nugget
restaurant, two casinos, a Portugese gay sauna and a sewerage
treatment works crewed entirely by trained ferreets. And what a
deeply moving memorial it makes for a gentle soul who touched all our
hearts with little more than a few well chosen punctuation marks. Oh,
and of course that other guy who died here too, Protractor or
whatever his name was.

That's great Ivana, we're all deeply moved here, there's not a dry
seat in the house. but now we're moving on to the next award, it's
for the Most Memorable Phrase. The nominees for this category are:

"And then the screaming started."
"You knew I was a serpent when you picked me up."
"sha-ZAM!"
"Don't eat the apples."

And in a clear victory, scoring thrice as many votes as it's nearest
competitor, the words on everyones lips appear to be "And then the
screaming started." And I know how they feel, because I feel like
screaming myself! But there's no time for that because I "sight" our
next award, and it's Favourite Website. Your Nominees are:

DCMC Platform #2
URF
Moreland, WV
The Pythia.Net
NoCars
TerraShape

And you're not going to believe it folks, it's too unbelievable to
believe, but believe it or don't believe it, we have yet another tie
for first place, between The Pythia.Net and Moreland,WV! And the
locals here are going nuts. Mind you, for some of them it was a short
trip.

(Accepting the award for The Pythia.Net is the actual Serpent, and-
wow. So it was them. I'd have never guessed in a million years that
*that* person was the Serpent! Gee, they'll never let us reveal this
on the recap, aren't you glad you're seeing it live. Wow. That's
blown my mind. Serpent, all that time, it was none other than-)

Sorry folks but we have to take a break here, we'll be right back
with The lockies after these messages!

*******Coming up next: More of this dragged-out interminable
crap*******

Ok, that was Sting performing his reworking of the theme from the
Thomas Crown Affair, titled "Where.gif's of Your Mind". But now the
time has come for the first award of the evening, from the In-Game
category it's the Most Popular Character! And the nominees are:

Moot
Creeper
Serpent
Nadine
Barbie
Cave Bear
Jo Burgess

And the winner is-gosh, I'm so excited my truss is slipping- oh it's
a tie! Yes ladies and gentlemen, your *joint* winners, and I don't
mean they win a joint, at least not until the after-show party, are:

Moot and Creeper!

Of course, Moot can't be with us tonight due to his tragic fiery
death, so accepting both awards is Madeleine Browning, aka Creeper!

(Miss Browning's outfit is so stunningly chic and fashionable that it
couldn't possibly be described, but that doesn't matter because
plebians like you could never look anywhere near as good as she does
in it anyway, so why don't you just go wear an old sack you ugly
lumps of meat!)

Okay give her a big hand ladies and gentlemen. We're moving right on.
Our next category is Most Under-Used Character. The nominees are:

Sherpa
Moot
Creeper
Rebar
GPS
and all the rest of Crawlers.

May I have the envelope please? Boy, are my hands sweaty. That has
nothing to with the award, I have a glandular condition. And the
winner is, it's ANOTHER split decision! The winnerS are

Moot and Sherpa!

What with Moot still being dead and all, both awards will be accepted
by Sherpa!

(Sherpa's outfit comes from his wardrobe. Puppies come from a mummy
dog and daddy dog who love each other very much. Eggs come out of a
chickens ass, but it's best not to think about that too hard or else
you'll never eat them again and missout on a good source of Omega-3)

Doesn't he look great folks? Gee, I only hope that when I'm his age I
look half as good and am a millionaire living in a Taiwanese
whorehouse.
We're going to take a short break and then we'll be back with more of
the Lockies!

That's right, hello everybody, and welcome everyone to this, the
first ever Lockies Award Ceremony. I'm Payne Wenipee and my co-host
for the evening is the lovely Ivana Bigapare, she's out there on the
red carpet right now amidst the arriving celebrities. Ivana?

Thanks Wayne! Gosh, the air is just *lousy* with excitement out here,
the good folks of Moreland have really turned out en masse to greet
the famous faces that will be here tonight. Why, people are virtually
*exploding* with anticipation and who can blame them on this night of
nights. Oh and look, here comes a familiar face down the red carpet,
you know him, you love him, it's the Reverend Lee and doesn't he just
look fabulous? I don't think I've ever seen a man of the cloth in
fluorescent lycra before but this is one image I'll never be able to
burn off the back of my retinas. And speaking of deep tissue damage,
here comes the mayor of Moreland himself, Vernon Devenish. And as you
can plainly see, the scarring really isn't as hideous as the news
made out. Who needs a nose anyway, right? Anyway Payne, back to you
in the studio.

Thanks Ivana, well, the first award for the evening is coming up
shortly, but first lets take a break and we'll be right back with
more of the First Annual Lockies Awards!

*******Coming up next: Favourite Character**********

Lawks a lordy, the excitement is reaching fever pitch, but tomorrow
the polls close on the first annual Lockies voting.
So this weekend, dress up in your finest frocks and frippery as we
hold the gala bash to end all gala bashes!

Those who are tardy will not get fruit cup.

Adam

The following jawbreak poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: What event do you WISH happened?

CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Eric being shot in the face., 0 votes, 0.00%
- Steamroller flattening Eric., 0 votes, 0.00%
- Eric touching an electrified rail during a crawl., 3 votes, 16.67%
- Eric's "The Grateful Dead" collection spontaneously exploding, causing the
shrapnel to collide with Eric's neck with ugly results., 9 votes, 50.00%
- Eric sticking a fork into a toaster., 6 votes, 33.33%

INDIVIDUAL VOTES
- Eric being shot in the face.
- Steamroller flattening Eric.
- Eric touching an electrified rail during a crawl.
      - jonwaite@...
      - ylingl01@...
      - StephenMehlB@...
- Eric's "The Grateful Dead" collection spontaneously exploding, causing the
shrapnel to collide with Eric's neck with ugly results.
      - martaviusthefirst@...
      - first_tienle@...
      - bogorm@...
      - shane_charleson@...
      - cloudmaker@...
      - mos_eisley_bartendar@...
      - vpisteve@...
      - mkate101@...
      - jajchan@...
- Eric sticking a fork into a toaster.
      - whiteknight5000@...
      - adoyle98@...
      - ozymandias_y2k_in@...
      - brownpaperblag@...
      - ExtraRed@...
      - qamu@...


For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

The following jawbreak poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: Did you participate in the A.I.
webgame? (i.e. Are/Were you a
Cloudmaker?)

CHOICES AND RESULTS
- No., 16 votes, 12.80%
- Yes, but I didn't get very involved in anything other than the storyline., 8
votes, 6.40%
- Yes, I used to follow along and go through the sites once they were solved.,
12 votes, 9.60%
- Yes, I worked on solving the puzzles, but never solved any., 56 votes, 44.80%
- Yes, I worked on trying to solve the puzzle, and I solved one or more., 31
votes, 24.80%
- Yes, I'm Fuzzymelon2k and I solved the main issue of the plot within a month
of the game beginning., 2 votes, 1.60%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

The following jawbreak poll is now closed.  Here are the
final results:


POLL QUESTION: What will you do if another Grateful
Dead puzzle shows up?

CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Light up a "J", throw on "American Beauty" and "groove" to the "jam", 4 votes,
11.76%
- Revel in the concept of a music puzzle, until realizing that this can be
called music by only the most strict technical definitions, 11 votes, 32.35%
- Grumble at the apperance of a piercing headache.  Swear off lockjaw until
these PMs finally get the hint (then start trudging through obscure lyrics and
odsessive fansites until the pain is unbearble), 7 votes, 20.59%
- Pledge to hunt down the PM responsible for this, and start a bonfire outside
of his house while blaring the "Sex Pistols" at full volume until he burns all
of his records right in front of your eyes, 9 votes, 26.47%
- Jump up out of your seat and "dance" around the room like a Whirling Dervish,
3 votes, 8.82%



For more information about this group, please visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak

For help with Yahoo! Groups, please visit
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/

the final nominations have been made and the official voting has
begun. You all have exactly two weeks from today to place your vote
in each of the categories. Results will then be announced in the
ultra-swish and extravagant Lockies Ceremony (wear your best "I Shot
Chet" T-shirt!) either here or if someone is arsed enough to organise
it, in one of our resident IRC haunts.

What are you doing still reading this? Go vote, you dumb monkey!

Adam

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
jawbreak group:

THE LOCKIES!
(Out-of-Game Category)
Golden Trout Award:

   o i_monk
   o Sam G.
   o All of Us


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak/surveys?id=10942149

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
jawbreak group:

THE LOCKIES!
(Out-of-Game Category)
Most Suspected of Being a PM in
Disguise:

   o vpisteve
   o imbri
   o tien_le


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak/surveys?id=10942147

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
jawbreak group:

THE LOCKIES!
(Out-of-Game Category)
Most Obscure Research:

   o I-Ching
   o Language of Flowers
   o Telomeres
   o Malls of America
   o DNA/RNA


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak/surveys?id=10942146

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
jawbreak group:

THE LOCKIES!
(Out-of-Game Category)
Wildest Theory:

   o Vad is Serpent
   o There is Something in the Lake at Moreland
   o That We Are All Made of Ass
   o That Message 45912 is Important
   o I Killed Moot


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak/surveys?id=10942145

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
jawbreak group:

THE LOCKIES!
(Out-of-Game Category)
Most Character Interaction:

   o Mos
   o jamesi
   o UrbanZombie
   o All Who Caused Eric's Breakdown


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak/surveys?id=10942143

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!

Enter your vote today!  A new poll has been created for the
jawbreak group:

THE LOCKIES!
(Out-of-Game Category)
Most Memorable #jb Quote:

   o "We are all made of ass."
   o "Guys, they're just apples!"
   o "mmm pie"
   o "imbri is all things good in this world."
   o "NOB RUTEF ORCING"


To vote, please visit the following web page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jawbreak/surveys?id=10942142

Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.

Thanks!