Hi there.

earlier this morning, I did a quick translation of the
German site for a friend; here's what I sent.
It's slipshod as hell, but it beats bablefish.


As has been pointed out, the site title means "thinkinging house"
(the grammar isn't quite right, and the text has some anglicisms,
although I've seen much worse; generally, it's at least a decent
translation.)

Main page:

four buttons:
liquids and gases
metals and glasses
stone and woods
ceramics and plastics

The little logo misspells the
word Bosch as boche.

* our company
* news
* IASA links

Good day! Welcome at Bosch building
materials! Welcome to the future of
home design and home automation!

Our specialty is the creation of
"thinking houses" from high-quality
building materials while applying
the most modern building techniques.
No longer do you have to choose between
beautiful and practical. We will show
you how to unite form and function.
Embark on a journey of discovery and
discover the basic themes of the four
material duettes that our philosophy
of home fabrication is based on. Please
also visit the homepage of Bosch
Bauwerke to about our Firm.

[It stops apruptly and ungrammatically.]


You go to the "liquids and gases link"

Popup: Attention! We're sorry, but your interface is not configured
to see the holosound and holographic images of this
presentation.
Update your system to use the earth-net 39 standard for
holosensoric presentations. There follows a transcript of
the audio part.

(Every page has this popup.)

our company
news
IASA links
home

Nothing is more important that water and air
in life. Here at Bosch Bauwerke we focus on the integration
of these elements into all aspects of our designs.
Artificial walls can be opened at a whim to let air
circulate in the rooms. Big rooms can be changed into
big rooms by combining many small ones [sic]. You
coordinate the optimal air circulation and use of
space. Fresh water can be directed to those parts
of the home that need it, for drinking, washing, or
for heating or cooling the house temperature [sic].
In summer, cold water can flow through the walls
to keep the temperature pleasantly cool. The warmed
water can be stored in thermostatic containers to
provide a warm shower the next morning.
When the owners of the house prefer, other liquids
can be transported with the help of the house water
lines - wine, coffee, tea, and even beer [ahrgh] -
practically any sort of refreshment - can be
drawn on demand. Even hard-nosed house owners can
enjoy themselves ordering blood transfusions.

The attention paid to liquid dynamics doesn't just apply to the
wellbeing of the people living in the house. Even the armatures are
using the physical properties of liquids. Spiral glass tubes replace
the older copper or plastic tubes to deliver electricity, fresh
filtered air, water, or other liquids and gases for use by the
house inhabitants. The duality of building materials is reflected
in the optical fiber shell of the transparent tubes. Monochrome
or colored light, including its energy, is directed against the
flow and can lead to wonderous color effects of the rainbow [sic].
The use of these advantages could only be achieved by mounting the
tubes outside of the walls. Many of our competitors are still hiding
their lines inside the walls and with that refuse you creative access
to the unity of the thinking home. This is how you can connect
form and function!

Another example for the integration of liquids and gases into the
thinking house is the tower of air. It combines the newest in the
area of virtual walls, floors, and ceilings to protect its inhabitants
from the whims of nature. Hundred years ago, this part of the house
was called a "chimney".


The "Metals and Glases" link:

There is no greater extremes in building than the difference between
metal and glas [sic]. It is this contrast that makes these materials
natural pairs in material dualism [?]...

[You know, I don't think this was really designed to be read and/or
translated. Let me paraphrase.]

Memetic metals, guarranteeing the safety of your family during storms.
Support for structural change on a molecular basis to adapt to new
locations.

Glas: AI glas; change the size of your windows to create your
prsonal straight horizon [?]. Change form, thickness, color
at whim. Our unmistakeable installation, as a picture of the garden
"ode to humanity" shows (that's the photograph of something like
an inner tube) combine the beauty of metal with the unlimited
potential of thinking glas that reflects every color, ...


The "stone and wood" link:

.. natural materials ... homes build with stone walls..
The next picture reflects this eternal beauty: the "portal
of eternity". Every house built by Bosch contains such a
portal that represents and guarantees the famous place
and unique personality of every home in history.


The "ceramic and plastics" link:

Sensitive walls with human reaction to temperature... learn
to distinguish between/configure for different inhabitants.
Self-healing plastics for surface.


News:

This week there are no news since we're still busy completing
the Newberry house. But don't forget the article about
Beate Bosch in the 600th anniversary editionof "metropolitan
living homes"! We're looking forward to 600 more years of
her on-the-mark commentary.

[Click here to go to metropolitanlivinghomes.com]

While visiting this great magazine, don't forget to read
some of the archived articles that Celia Fair has written about
Beate and our company:

- prophet of the minimalmechanical movement
- bauholism: combination of structure and intelligence at
bosch bauwerke
- the new revolution: the thinking home
- straight horizon for dummies
- material dualism: connecting form and function

You can also find reviews and commentary of bosch bauwerke
in the following publications:

- monotechnical review
- buildwork
- magazine for intelligent house design
- eurocraft
- virtual living
- materials sciences


About:

Our company.

The company Bosch Bauwerke was founded in 2135 with the goal
of building thinking homes for the intelligent world. The doors
were opened on the 7th July of the same year by Beate Bosch,
enabled by a generous donation of the famous architect and
artisan Gerd Lang. Beate Bosch was Lang's student for many
years at his revolutionary institute for virtual living mechanics
at the university moscow.

Note: if you want to learn more about the life of Gerd Lang and
the work of his institute, visit one of his private academies or
one of his workshops everywhere. The schols can be found in
eastern and northern Europe, in southwestern Africa, and in
northern asia.

Beate Bosch started her independent work with a number of innovative
monumental sculptures that were exhibited in 2136 at a "celebration
of humanity". The probably most famous sculpture from this exhibit
is the 75 meter high statute "free thinker", which can be admired
on the circle of humanity in Bonn.

This celebration of humanity with all its achievements is visited
by thousands of guests every month. The statue is equipped with a
"people mover" that transports visitors to the top of the building.
There are exhibition platforms from which a breathtaking view over
the city of Bonn can be enjoyed. In the tip is one of the best
restaurants in Europe, "The Brain". Its chef - the android Ingo
Truant - half man, half machine, is the only chef-de-cusine in
Europe with five Michelin stars. Ironically, "the brain" is also
one of the few places in the rhine plains where food is served
by mortal waitstaff.

The statue and its restaurant embody perfectly the design philosophy
of Bosch ... yade yade yada ... Every house is paralleled by an
artificial intelligence.

We live an in intelligent, new world. It's time to turn one's back
on the primitive and wasteful styles of the past and embrace new
amterials and technologies. When in 2000 the first study of an
intelligent
house was completed for the Fraunhofer Institute [which really
exists],
nobody could imagine the breadth of this vision. Today, the
revolution
in building design has become reality. The time has arrived for a
thinking house that unites form and function!

Click here to learn more about the free thinker of Bosch Bauwerke.
Or here to go back to home.


[Freidenker]

The building of Bosch Bauwerke stands watchfully in the heart of
Berlin.
It overlooks the Spree [river] and the famous Pergamon [misspelled as
Pergamum] museum. We currently employ 40 highly educated house
designer, builders, and architects. We are one of the world's
fastest-growing "thinking house" agencies and doubtlessly the best.

Led by master designer Beate Bosch our team of architects and
technicians
is prepared to support you in the design of your perfect thinking
house.
Below you will find the biographies of our leading architects and
designers.

Master designer Beate Bosch

Click here to hear Beate Bosch describe her passion for the design of
thinking homes. [Pop up about good old earth-39.]

In summer 2096 Beate Bosch was born as the only child of Helmut and
Brigitte. Named after her father's mother... prodigy... captain of
the chapmann hockey team of the technical guymnasium of east berlin
[yeah right -- east berlin ceased to exist more than ten years ago].
...
studied on the berlin university of artificial intelligence and
design since age 17, quickly outgrew it. .. professor Gerd Lang
noticed her talent; she was allowed to change to the institute of
artificial life mechanics at the University Moscow. Doctorate
at age 30.

Dissertation on the interface between the home owner and the
home ai. Solution "butler in the corner"....

Gerd Lang died in a car accident in 2134; Beate inherited most of his
fortune.

Master of "minimalist mechanical movement".
Still plays Chapmann hockey.
Nominated as a speaker for health programs for youth of the
german institute of health.

Evolutionary design intelligence Georg.

Initially it was just a database of coefficients and business dates,
but in 2134 George became more than just a program. Still mourning,
Beate dug into changing the detilas of the program that recorded
and consumed al her moments with the great master Lang. Programmer
and program became closer in a way that Beate never before had
experienced ..
.. Beate and George accepted into a group of famous creative
man/machine duos. Their works in material dualism are mentioned
in the same breath as the ethnographic achievements of Chow
Fat/Butterfly
or the astonishing advertising messages of marketing geniuses
Maria Rodriguez/Barnumo. Only the founders of the artificial
syllogism, Allen Hobby/MUSE have achived more in teh field of
AI than Beate and Georg. ...

Strangely enough, Beate blames her newfound professional passion on
George.
"George thinks past Eogisms", says Beate. "Even when I am wearning
a mask, a role that I slip into for my customers, parents, or
colleagues -
George sees through me. He discovers behind my facade the big
passions
of a DaVinci, or the grandiosity of Green & Green. Often I wonder
"Is this design to cold?" and George answers "No, not cold enough!"
More than any living designer, human or artificial, does he feel the
materialistic Nirvana.

On his part, George experiences a restless, searching desire for
knoweledge. Beate has liberated him from the face-saving humility
of a typical AI. As soon as you meet George, you'll underestand that
not only is he smarter than you, but he's also only paying you about
1/1000 of his attention. His utterances are neither flat nor
exaggeratedly adapted to human needs, which tends to give rise to
anecdotes - like the submission of a plan for the Offisarium Atoll
sky scraper in Singapore, which represented a complete architectonic
reproduction of Bach's Messe [tr?] in B minor. Of course, Bosch
Bauwerke got the contract.

Architect Albrecht Schenk

Grew up in the mountains of Bavaria .. stipend at the institute
of arts... graduated with honors 2133 with a diploma in Thinking
Glas Architecture and designed light systems for the Frankfurt
subway for four year.

2137, after that was finished, he approached Beate Bosch...
When he's not practicing his art, he plays second fiddle in
the Berlin Philharmonics under Vader Abraham, V.

Master Technician Inna Kamenev

If there's a person other than Beate that is a major contributor
to the success of Bosch Bauwerke, it's this humble and plain young
woman. .. Graduated from CMU at age of 20 as Programmer fo AI.
Groundbreaking works on the combination of sensible gases
and optical conductors .. her ruthless programming and coordination
gives life to Baete's buildings.


IASA links:

Popup: If you are an IASA member, enter your
member number:

Form method=get, action=invalid.html.

Whew.

--Jutta