I'm in the process of writing a briefing sheet for the aspect of the
merchant hat my character follow, The Heole, aka the merisusi version
of the merchant.

I'm thinking about using this story as the opening parable, but i'm
not sure if it works as i want it to and am hoping to get some
external advice.

Does the story work based upon the tenets of the merchant. Is it
readable? are there any parts of it that the grammar needs to be
worked on? do i use too much dialogue at the end?

The Hero The Champion the Heole

"When i was a child my father turned to my brother and me and gave
each of us a knife and bib us go into the woods each morning, saying
to us that we would eat only that which we each caught, that which we
each killed and which we each gathered with our own hands.

On the first day i gathered berries and cut vines and creepers and
returned home with my brother, hungry and with hands stained red with
the juices of our prize.

Through the night from the creepers I created rope and cut it in
cunning loops and made ready for the morning while my brother stared
longingly at my fathers table.

On the second day we descended into the wood , Again did i gather
fruit and berries as did my brother, both of us finding sufficient to
feed us but i put aside some of my food, knowing hunger would not hurt
me and using this bounty i set traps and snares for the next morning.

As i sat in my father hall that night I drew forth a length of wood
which i had gathered that day and as i cut it, my stomach aching, my
brother recognized my hunger but exulted. "I will not share with you,
for hunger will not harm you. It will teach you to be less wasteful in
future."

So it was that we descended into the woods for the third day and
instead of returning with but nuts and berries i found my snares had
caught rabbit and game. But alas, also had some of my traps been
broken, something, or some one having taken their prize.

As i sat in my fathers hall that night i saw that my brother returned
also with game and so i asked him where he had caught it.

"why brother" he replied "it was so careless of you to leave your
traps where any may find them" he cautioned, chuckling at his own wit
"let this be a lesson to you. What is your is what you can keep,
nothing else!"

The next day we again set out into the woods. Gone were the days of
plenty, for the forest could feel the passing of the seasons and there
was little food to be had. I came across my brother in a glade,
viewing my empty traps with disdain, hunger in his face.

"how goes the hunt with you brother?" he asked and i said to him that
although the game was less, i was blessed by catching a hawk in my
traps but my brother scoffed "how can you eat a hawk" he asked but
spying the lone rabbit that hung from my belt he said "brother, i am
hungry, Give me that rabbit so that i may feed myself."

I could see that the lesson of the woods had not been taught well to
him and i said "nae, for what right have you to it? You have set no
trap, you have done no work but you live off the sacrifice i have
made. I will show you how to set snares yourself, but you can not have
my rabbit."

At this my brother grew angry. Reaching down he lifted a stone of
flint and smashed it again my head. Blood seeped onto the cold earth
as my brother took my rabbit from me and i sat hungry in my fathers
hall that night, thankful for the promise the hawk had brought and
mindful of the lesson of the flint stone.

The next day when we stepped into the woods i came across my brother
again. Although i was weak and he was strong i stepped towards him as
again he stood over my traps, taking the game which by right was my own.

"Brother" I called to him "I have caught those, why do you take them
from me?".

He turned and looked at me in contempt. "because i can. I have
challenged you many times and each time i have defeated you. While you
have wasted energy on other projects i have harbored my own and am
strong and well nourished while you are weak and with empty stomach.
You can not stop me taking these birds" and he stooped to take his prize.

"Brother" i said unto him again "It is you who has been wasteful.
While i have labored and sacrificed much to your predations each day i
have been made stronger for it. You taught me a lesson once. Now let
me teach you!"

And with that i shot him with the bow that i had crafted, the arrows
fletched with hawk-feathers and tipped in flint.

"What is your is what you can keep, nothing else!"

The first arrow bit deep, piecing his leg. The second pinning him to a
tree by his shoulder. As i stood over him with a third arrow drawn i
looked into those eyes and realized the truth of the Woods.

"All things compete, brother, that is the nature of life. But what you
accomplish matters more than what you win. For three days now you have
taken a share of my food as well as your own but you are no better for
it. I may be weaker now, but I have not only defeated you, my brother,
but the forest also. For while i may live of Game, now i can live off
deer, to hunt and feast as a warrior should. What i have given up
these last few days i will reap countless time in the years to come.
You were unwilling to sacrifice and so now, you have nothing..." and
with that, i shot him again, and again, and again, and again and took
the prize which i had won.

---The story of "the twins in the woods" as told in the trophy hall in
yst gara.